Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Top Ten Ways to Spice up the Legislative Session

I was talking to a group of fellow Arkansas political bloggers in a top secret conspiratory meeting, and we discussed that this legislative session is on track to be both the most covered and the most boring legislative session in the history of the General Assembly (and perhaps of any state legislative session anywhere.) So I thought I would post some ideas about how the big shots over at the state capital can mix things up.

10. Declare Every Friday Crazy Hat Day! Nothing adds excitement to the mundane more than funny hats. (as my Senator Shane Broadway displays in this photo.)

9. Blogging Legislators! I know it will never happen; those guys are too busy to spend time on that sort of stuff but think of how much fun that could be.

8. Shoot off a Canon When a Bill Passes! You will feel like you are back in college at a football game, when the sergeant at arms shoots off the legislative cannon.

7. Live Web Cam Feeds to the Capital Hill Apartments! Fans of the CBS show Big Brother would love tuning in to follow the sleeping, eating, and night life habits of the legislators’ Little Rock living quarters.

6. A Thoughtful Discussion of the Issues …. No, just kidding. I wanted to make sure you were still paying attention.

5. Cooking Tips from Rep. Mark Martin! He has already recommended Bacon Salt via twitter. I would like to see what else he has up his sleeves.

4. Bring Back the Spittoons! If you have ever taken a tour of the old statehouse, you know that spittoons sat at the end of each row of desks. I think that is one tradition that needs to be brought back. Plus with the new tax on smokeless tobacco, this is may add enough revenue to plug the budget holes. (If it is not enough, we may have to let them smoke too.)

3. Bring Your Pet to the Capital Day! What could be more fun then seeing your favorite legislator tote their pet around the capital? Just make sure you are nice to them, or the 76th Sheriff McDaniel will have to arrest you.

2. Bring Your Lobbyist to the Capital Day! This is sort of like # 3 but the legislators will be the ones on the leashes.

1. A Cage Match between Gov. Mike Beebe and LG Bill Halter! To make it fair Beebe would get to enlist any legislator to help him who doesn’t like Halter. Whoever survives gets to draft the lottery legislation exactly how they want it.

1 comment:

Brett said...

Fantasy Legislature: Pick 5 House members and 3 Senate members. Points are scored by the number of bills passed which that legislator sponsored or co-sponsored. Double point if the legislator is a member of the minority.